Game of Thrones – “A Man Without Honor”

Alan Sepinwall posits that it’s Jaime Lannister who lends this episode its name. And sure, there’s no doubt that Jaime is a lying sack of crap, but I think there are a few others vying for that honorific; the titular Man Without Honor.

The most obvious contender would have to be Theon Greyjoy, who’s really turned into that guy now that’s he’s taken control of Winterfell. He’s gotten tougher since leaving the Iron Islands to raid fishing villages, I’ll give him that. But now, he’s just being a dick. Whereas you could see Bran slowly morphing into a wise and kind leader — much like his dad — Theon’s the guy who came from the back of the pack, won the day, and now needs to rub it in everyone’s face. He was given a bum deal, sure. His dad gave him a crew that didn’t respect him, so Theon needed to pick out the biggest, baddest motherf***er on his first day in the prison yard, show that he wasn’t gonna get played like a punk. I understand that. But now that he’s gotten a taste of victory, he’s got the junkie itch. He’s got to do it again and again, because if he talks a big game and then can’t back it up, he’ll lose the support of his men. And that can’t happen. Especially now, before his dad and sister have had a chance to see all the awesome things he’s done.

Another contender would be Xaro Xhoan Daxos in Qarth, who’s going around with Dany — who looks like she’s ready to KILL somebody — telling her that he wasn’t the one who kidnapped her dragons, because hey, he’s rich, and if they don’t come with Dany herself then what’s the point? But whenever Dany confronts the Thirteen about it, that weird John Waters guy gets up, says he stole the dragons, and that he was put up to it by Xaro, who’s just declared himself the King of Qarth! And then he does his weird prestige thing and kills everyone! What the hell, man?! How’s this guy doing that? Why did Xaro deny stealing the dragons and then come out like twenty minutes later and admit it? How long until Dany and Ser Jorah give in to their THROBBING CARNAL DESIRES?? It’ll be a little while yet, apparently, with he and Dany and Henchman #2 hightailing it out of there like it was some Scooby Doo cartoon. My love for Emilia Clarke runs deep, but Dany’s story has been my second least favorite part of this season (my least favorite has been Jon Snow, but more on that in a minute). The mystery surrounding Qarth, and then the dragons being taken has all seemed a little contrived. But I’m willing to stick it out and see where it goes. All this talk about the House of the Undying has my interest piqued, nightmares about Pink Flamingos notwithstanding.

And of course, there is Jaime Lannister. It may not be surprising to hear the man who was having regular sex with his sister described as without honor, but that’s Obama’s America for you. I’m kind of surprised that we’ve seen so little of Jaime this season, although I suppose watching him sit there, tied to that stake wouldn’t make for very riveting television. It’s kind of interesting to compare these three men, Theon, Xaro, and Jaime. Theon we’ve come to know over the course of the series, and we’ve seen exactly what he’s going through this season over the course of several episodes. So it’s a slow burn. Xaro’s motivations for declaring himself king seem to stem from that usual suspect: a desire for power. Of course, all of these men want power, but Xaro’s a tertiary character, and I imagine that once this business in Qarth is concluded we won’t be seeing much of him (although I haven’t read the books so who the hell knows what’s going to happen). Even though we haven’t seen a lot of him this season, we really get a look into what kind of person Jaime is this week. When his cousin Alton’s thrown in the pen with him, we watch Jaime play into this kid’s hero worship. And when he’s got his complete attention, he smashes him in the face, caves his head in (still better than drowning) and escapes. Until Robb’s forces catch him, anyway. The whole thing is kind of a win-win for Jaime. If he escapes, then great! He escapes. But if he’s caught, well that sucks, but what are the Starks going to do to him? I don’t know if you’ve heard anyone say that Jaime’s worth more alive than he is dead, but if you haven’t, he’s worth more alive than he is dead.

And then, groan, we have Jon Snow. Who surprise, lets Ygritte lead him around like a dog, through land she knows infinitely better than he does, and right into the hands of her people. I can’t wait to see where we’re headed next week with this. Wherever it is, I bet it’ll involve lots of aimless wandering, and Jon Snow looking pensive about the choices he’s made.

Another breast-free episode this week. I’m not sure I approve of this bold new course the show is setting. It’s really screwing up my Sunday Night Boob Run, which right now consists of Game of Thrones, Girls, and The Borgias. Right now, HBO makes me feel like a classy pervert. I’d hate to have to go to Cinemax and ruin that.